Sunday, May 13, 2012

Why Fathers Need Mothers

Instead of going with the obligatory title or content for any blog written on Mother's Day, I decided to try a little shock value and talk a bit about fathers - why fathers need mothers.  I am writing this for fathers and guys who are first and foremost problem solvers and logic thinkers and who are attempting to lead their families well.  I am writing this for guys who have been told that they are to be the "leader of the home" and who find themselves attempting to lead a family the way they think it should be lead and are finding it messy and a mess.  I am writing this for men who have children who they don't understand and are finding that there is more and more conflict in the home instead of peace.  I am writing this for every male that does not fully appreciate what your mother and the mother of your children brings to the table.

I have to confess that it took me a few years of marriage and child rearing to begin to move toward admitting that I did not have all the answers and admitting that leadership of the home was not totally centered on me and my way of doing things.  It took friction between my wife and I and a few sleepless nights for me to BEGIN the journey of understanding why God created man AND woman and brought them together to form a family.

Let me start by stating the conclusion: I needed my mother.  I need my wife. 

I needed my mother to model to me nurturing; to show me what grace was.  I needed her to show me love when my heart was broken and my plans were messed up - I needed that model to understand that I need to do that for others when they are broken and messed up.  I needed my mother to be faithful to me when I broke windows, when I hid my boots (long story...), when I broke dishes instead of drying them, when I was depressed after a basketball game; when the stuff of life hit me.  I needed her to be there, not just with me, but for me.  I needed her to model that for me so that I can pass that onto my children.  I was blessed to have a mother who did just that for me.  My job was, and is, to note that faithfulness, that tenderness, that nurture, so that I can move it from what was done for me to what I do for my children.

I need the mother of my children to continue to teach me how to be a better father and person.  I need her to challenge me, to raise and eyebrow every once and a while, to talk to me about my short comings so that I can grow and change.  I need her to balance my personality with hers so that TOGETHER, we can raise children that get the best of both of us and not the worse.  I need to listen to her, watch her, appreciate her and try and emulate her nurturing and loving nature as I seek to fulfill the calling of dad.

Say thanks to your mom and mother of your children today.  Do more than just say thanks - tell God thank you for bring them into your life and really seek to learn from them how to be a better man and a better person!