Thursday, September 23, 2010

Had an opportunity to do a wedding last weekend. I love to do weddings; it is one of my favorite things to do as a pastor. People are excited, there is joy on people's faces, old friendships are rekindled, relatives are seen that have not been seen in a while - it is just a time for celebration!

As I was thinking about what to say at the wedding, my mind was drawn to the mystery of relationships and the mystery of marriage. Agur, one of the contributing authors of Proverbs, wrote this:

"There are three things that are too amazing for me,
four that I do not understand:

the way of an eagle in the sky,
the way of a snake on a rock,
the way of a ship on the high seas,
and the way of a man with a maiden.

How these four all relate together is a bit mysterious to me (especially the snake on the rock one), but I totally understand the last one. Because I meet with the couple for several times before the ceremony, I get to watch their love develop and see the mystery of the way with a man with a maiden. I love it!

I think that God and this author have something to say about the mystery of a committed relationship. There is something that happens in a relationship of marital commitment. Not just a commitment to live together; not just a commitment to share physical intimacy; not just a commitment to share finances - a commitment to a life long, a "I am giving myself totally and only to you" relationship with each other. I watch how the way of a man with a woman and the way of a woman with a man develops as they move toward marriage - they understand, and most take very seriously, that they are committing their lives to one another; that this is an "all in" kind of thing. Watching that deep love of commitment develop is truly a mystery!!!

The second mystery that still amazes me is the "two become one" thing (see Matthew 5). I was always taught that 1 + 1 = 2. The mystery of marriage is that 1 + 1 = 1. Have NO clue how that happens, or frankly even a small understanding of what that means, but I know that it is true because God said it and Jesus confirmed it when he was on the earth.

I have been married for 26+ years and there are times when I don't feel like my wife and I are "1"; I sometimes feel we are two separate people. However, when my heart and her heart are knit together on a topic, when my mind thinks about not what is best for me what is best for us, when our actions, although with different approaches, are unified - then I get a glimpse of the glory of what oneness of soul can be like with someone. And guess what, I like that oneness....Still a mystery to me how this supernaturally is accomplished and I know my mind is too small to figure it out, but I can enjoy the fruits of it!!!!


  1. I, too, love the idea of 2 becoming one. I like to imagine the concept as two glasses of water poured into one jug. The two individual glasses become so indistinguishable that they literally become just one jug of water. There's no separating which molecule of water came from which glass.

    Here's the difficult part for me, though. I wonder if I take seriously enough this very concept of oneness. I wonder if any of us do. As impossible as it would be to separate out that jug of water molecules into their original glasses of water, so, too, it is impossible to separate the one in God's eyes. But it's all too easy to separate the one in our own eyes.

    Thoughtful post.

  2. Great example Mike. You are so right - how often do we really take this seriously. It really should have a profound impact on the way that I lead my family........Lots of work to do in that area.