This is a note that I wrote to someone who has been struggling with faith for the past couple of years.....
I have been struggling through life over the past weeks. the MRSA virus still is wreaking havoc on my mom - still paralyzed from the waist down and very weak. She is not going to die because of it, but her life is most likely going to be wheel chairs and vans and assisted living from here on out.
My struggle has been with God. Why did this happen (I know that one ? sin)? Why did He let this happen? That is the tough one. My mom is a strong believer and a faithful servant for many, many years. It just does not seem fair. It really isn?t fair, because fair is eternal separation, but this doesn?t seem like a good gift that God promises to give. Here is what I have had to learn ? trust. Trust that God is at work and that, in the midst of living in a world that suffers the consequences of sin that WE chose, He will still redeem. I have to believe that He loves my mom and dad and that He has some greater glory in store for them.
This is the only thing that helps me make sense of this all. Only through the eyes of faith can I see God in this mess. I have seen Him show up in the way that my mom influences those around her. I have seen Him show up in keeping her alive. I have seen Him show up in drawing people toward Him that needed a tug, I have seen Him show up in helping me understand what is real and what is just temporary. He is there, I just want Him to be there to completely heal my mom. I keep reminding myself of the words of Jesus ? not my will, but thy will be done. Hard prayer. Hard to release. Hard to love God through this. I am convinced though, that it is the only way.