I met with a friend last week who has been "in the saddle" for many months now. He, like me, is trying to balance family, parents, work, relationship with God, etc. He told me that he was in a "have to" phase of life. He was not serving and doing things out of passionate desire, but out of duty, knowing that it was the right thing to do. I completely understood - I find that this is where I am right now with all the things in life that are necessary for me to do right now. I cannot check out and need to stay engaged, but it seems like I am doing it out of duty and not out of joy.
I think that we all have those seasons in our lives - seasons where we are mentally and spiritually tired. Yet in these seasons, it is imperative that we continue to pursue God and serve others - even if it is out of duty. It is not that we don't love God or love people, it is just that we are serving out of our reserve and not out of our excess. It feels like the spring that was feeding our well and that used to overflow to God and others has stopped. Instead of ending our pursuit of God and others, it is in these times that we must start using the water that was in our well; our reserve if you will (I hope that you are catching the analogy....takes to long in a blog to develop it fully).
I know this season will pass. I know I will have an encounter with God like Elijah did on the mountain of God and He will give me a fresh vision and the energy to execute it. (Read 1 Kings 17 - 19 for the record of this event in Elijah's life; it is a great read.) I just have to wait and continue to serve Him and others believing this is truth. In other words, I have to have persevering faith right now, even though I don't have the feeling.