Saturday, May 09, 2009

The last two weeks have been so crazy that I have not had the time to sit down and put some thoughts down. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that I had 19 meetings last week. Now I love meeting with people, but come on....

I have found a huge conflict in my roles over the past two weeks - father, husband, provider for the family, employee, employer, son, brother, consultant, child of the King...... It seems like these roles are in constant conflict because of the time of year. This happens every year at this time, but this year seems especially poignant because of the health issues with my mom.

It is hard to find margin during these times - margin to fill my soul, margin to spend time, real time, in the important relationships in my life, margin to develop as a person. I know this is only for a season, but when you are in the midst of it, it doesn't feel like there is an end point. This year is especially poignant because I really did not have margin while we were in Florida (and at the hospital every day) to regenerate.

I know in the midst of this that God wants to teach me something. I think what that "something" is revolves around finding rest in Him, moment be moment, day by day. I am reminded of the words of Isaiah (40:29-31): He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I believe that this is what God wants of me - to wait on Him and Him alone; not on my strength, not in my power, but in His. There are many other things that I could write about this, but that is for another day. Right now, I am trying to figure out what waiting on Him looks like. I know that the result is that I will not be weary, so I know that I have more learning to do!!!

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